I inspire I don’t fix

It Sunday night and I am coming off a few really difficult weeks.  This time alone was much needed.  I am sitting on my back deck watching the hundreds of lightning bug illuminate the night.  I can’t help but think how even in your darkest moments there are always little rays of light (hope) shining through.  As I reflect on the MANY endless life challenges I am always facing I know that it is just all part of my journey.  I know that with each challenge “I” have the choice to learn, grow and share OR get forever stuck in the moment.  I have a very strong philosophy that you MUST take time to feel and process the pain/disappointment that life sometimes brings us. I personally limit this to one day of self pity followed by a kick in the butt to move forward!

My journey hasn’t always been easy and I have made it a point to share not only my successes but my most vulnerable moments.  It isn’t always easy to allow the world to see you at your weakest times but I believe with every fiber of my soul that it is part of my mission.  In order to truly inspire others you need to let them into the inner depths of your soul.  They need to see your humanness.  Only then can they connect with your strength and unleash their own.

Back in the day I truly thought it was my job to fix people. It was that old, ” if you love someone you need to be there NO MATTER what”.  Ugh….did that lead to some major heartbreak! Our job is not to “fix” people!  In fact you can NOT “fix” anyone.  That is a job each individual must do for themselves. Of course you can guide, be supportive and assist them.  BUT you can NOT do the work for them.   The truth is sometimes you need to disconnect and let people have their own journey, learn their own lessons and follow their own path.  Sometimes they will come back into your life.  Sometimes they will not.

So many people are going through their own struggles right now.  In 15 years in this field I have never seen so much suffering and confusion.  However, I have also never seen so much growth and opportunity!  We are at such a defining moment in our lives.  YES, it does seem at times that everything is being taken away!  YES, it does seem like bad people just keep trucking along while the good continue to struggle.  BUT maybe it is about looking beyond what is in front of us.  Maybe those things are being taken away so they can be replaced with BETTER things!  Maybe those people just trucking along aren’t at the place in their lives where their big shift is occurring.

The big question then is how do we make it through?  What do we do?  I wish I had all the answers, but I do not.  I can only share some suggestions with you.  Unfortunately, I can not do the work for you.

  • Know that this too shall pass. Sometimes it is good to take a little peek back and see how much you have already made it through!
  • Know that it is okay to be angry, upset, hurt and disappointed.  However, do not get STUCK in it!  Give yourself a day or too of processing then continue moving forward.
  • Do not beat yourself up over things you can not change.  A lot of people are going through things they have no control over.  Beating yourself up ( “how did this happen”, “what did I do to deserve this”)…..serves NO purpose and will only keep you in that negative and stagnating place.
  • DO NOT get caught up in what other people are saying or doing.  KARMA does come around and you need not focus on people who treat you badly.  You just need to move beyond their negativity.
  • As hard as it is sometimes…..focus on what you want, not where you are!
  • Reach out and surround yourself with positive and uplifting people!
“Just for today I will be loving, kind and accepting of myself”

 

One thought on “I inspire I don’t fix

  • July 3, 2012 at 10:54 am
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    Some good thoughts to process LA…. thanks.
    This has been an especially trying month for lots of people I know, including myself. Whether it’s the stars, universe, karma, I don’t know. But heaps of problems have been raining down on people lately.

    A friend sent me this the other day. It helped put things back into perspective for myself –

    “Our minds are like bank accounts. We withdraw from what we have put in.
    Some simple guidelines for happiness…
    – free your heart of hatred
    – free your mind from worries
    – live simply
    – give more
    – expect less.”

    Have a great birthday month!

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