Today I received an email from someone I hardly know.  I won’t go into details but all I will say is they were obviously looking for someone to dump their frustration and fear on and I got to be the lucky target.  I have to tell you I was VERY upset at how someone I hardly know could be so disrespectful.  Reading the email really got me thinking and led me to ask a lot of questions….

1. I often think that people have mistakenly interpreted the concept of “freedom of speech”.  Yes, you do have the right to your opinion but does that give you the right to attack someone else?  Does that give you the right to make assumptions about things you know nothing about?  Does that give you the right to be hurtful, insulting and disrespectful to others?  Words can be very hurtful.  They create wounds that can take years to heal.  There are ways of getting your point across without attacking someone else.  You can always choose whether your words are helpful or harmful, so think before you speak.

1. Where does technology fit into all of this?  Years ago mail was delivered by horse and carriage and it could take months to communicate with each other.  Now we can instantly send text, emails, IM’s.  Has technology really improved our communication?  I sometimes think it was better before because people had to take the time to actually THINK about what they were saying.  Now we have the ability to react in the moment of anger, fear, frustration, etc.  At least with the horse and carriage you had time to track that darn horse down and get your nasty letter back.  Now once you hit that send button it is all over.  I wonder how many “send button regrets” there are per- hour?

1. While those are all reasonable questions the biggest question that came up for me, “Why do we care about THAT ONE PERSON?”  We can have 100 people tell us how great we are, how much they like us, or how much we have helped them.  Yet, we seem to focus only on that one person who seems to have an issue with us.  Is it just our human nature to want everyone to like us?  When we come across someone who doesn’t, why do we instantly feel the need to defend ourselves?  Why should we even care what someone else thinks?  If someone says you are green, does that make you green?  At the end of the day the ONLY person you need to answer to is yourself.

Years ago I read a wonderful book called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miquel Ruiz.  The message of the book was very clear.  Everyone is living their own reality and their own drama.  You do NOT need to let their drama affect you.  The Four Agreements are be impeccable with you word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions and always do the best you can.  It is a fabulous book and I highly recommend it!

You are probably wondering how I responded to the email?  It was short and sweet.  I said, “I am sorry you feel that way, sorry you used me to take your frustration out on”.  I will acknowledge I received your message and then I am done.  You have to remember that you cannot stop people like this from speaking their mind but you can always control how you respond to them.  You can control whether or not you allow them to effect you.  Remember delete, erase and block!

PS. And thank you to the person who sent me the email.  It made for a great article that will help a lot of other people, so thank you!