In 2008 I was at the height of my career. I had my own TV Show, was traveling all around with SCARED filming our paranormal show, radio show plans were in the works, I had my own monthly column in a magazine and I was booking out of town events left and right. Or at least that’s what it looked liked to the outside world. The actually reality was very different. The fact of the matter was after 5 years of no child support I was drowning in debt. I had survived by supplementing my income on credit cards. People thought I was a millionaire as most people do not realize you don’t get paid for all those TV and radio gigs. But to truly understand the story I have to start from the beginning or at least the middle….
In 2000 I got divorced. I had a great plan that couldn’t fail! I was going to focus on building my business, buy a home, then use the equity to pay off whatever debt I incurred along the way! The plan was working well until 2003 when I no longer received child support…so I had to do a little readjusting of my plan. In 2005 I bought a house and the plan was back on track. In 2007 I began to look into refinancing my home to pay off my credit card debt. At that time I had enough equity in my home to pay off my debt twice and still have a substantial amount left over to start an actual “big girl” savings account (something I have not had since 2000). Unfortunately the banks did not see it that way and I spent an entire year talking to bank after bank with no success. In the meantime all of my credit card companies were raising my rates and by 2008 my monthly credit card payment were nearing my monthly mortgage amount!
In March of 2008 I made the agonizing decision to file bankruptcy. I told no one! Not even my parents. I was mortified. I felt like a complete failure and I spent every waking moment trying to figure out how I allowed this to happen. Then one night I took a calculator and added up the years of child support I didn’t receive and the picture became quite clear. I couldn’t change the decisions I made in the past but I could set a better course for my future. I would focus on giving myself a fresh start and let the past go. I was back on track with my new plan.
Trust me when I tell you that the irony of the fact that I make a living helping people, guiding them through traumas and dramas did not escape me! Even more ironic was the fact that as I was going through this I was working with a client to save his company from bankruptcy! I have been doing business consulting for years and apparently I am a lot better at helping others. I am proud to say not only was the company saved but within one year they were not only back on track but were showing over a 50% profit! So I guess I do know something! But I digress…..
It was now April and my bankruptcy paperwork was submitted to the court. I was feeling more comfortable with my decision and I was beginning to let go of the feeling of being a complete failure. I also began sharing my story with some select clients who much to my amazement were going through the EXACT same thing! And of course I told my parents. There WAS a light at the end of the tunnel and boy was I focused on it!
In May (Mother’s Day to be exact) I landed in the emergency room and was told I had a tumor. My ER bill would total a whooping $7000 and I had NO health insurance! My parents stepped in and were wonderful enough to pay for health insurance but I would have to wait until July for it to kick in. I cannot even explain in words what a downward spiral my health took in those few months. I was sick as a dog and could barely make it through the day. Of course I was still working because I had bills to pay and I had a financial disaster I was trying to get out of.
July was a month from hell! I would have to wait 3 agonizing weeks for my biopsy results. The day before my birthday I was in bankruptcy court and the day after I was in a doctor’s office receiving my results. The doctor told me I was fine, informed me it was hormonal and asked me if I would like to go on birth control pills. I told him off, demanded my file and left the office. I thank God to this day that I trusted my intuition which was telling me I was very sick! For more on that horror story you can read, “Trust your Intuition. It just may save your life”!
It was now August 2008 and my health was getting worst by the day! I found a new doctor and in Sept I had exploratory surgery. The small tumor was removed however I was informed I had another huge tumor and would have to have another surgery. Because of the size of the tumor they were not able to get a proper biopsy of my uterus and I would not know if it was cancerous until the day of surgery which was scheduled for the end of Oct. I also was not a candidate for the “new” procedures and would have to have a full old fashion cut ya open hysterectomy! I have to tell you I honestly don’t even remember those next few weeks. I was working, sleeping, crying and dealing with the stress of the bankruptcy. I was scared out of my mind (even though my psychic self kept saying I would be fine). Of course most people had no idea that I was so ill (as people come to me for help not to listen to my sad sob story). I also didn’t want people to know because I could not allow my business to be effected. The interesting thing was as sick as I was my psychic abilities seemed to be at an all time high (go figure)! I literally worked up until the night before the surgery.
The surgery went well. It was not cancer! The doctor removed a tumor (which was the size of my entire uterus) along with my uterus! Now I would just have an 8 week recovery. Uh ….yeah….NO….I didn’t have time for that. I was back to work 2 weeks later! NO it was not easy. And yes by the end of the night I was literally crying from the pain and tiredness I felt. But I had to do what I had to do.
The New Year was right around the corner…2009! My favorite time of year! New beginnings! Once again I was ready to put the past behind me and focus on a wonderful new year of new beginnings. I will spare you all the details and in order to not get sued I will not say who it was but …in Jan I was reported to CPS. Someone thought this would be a perfect opportunity to take advantage of my situation. I personally think the motivation was money (as “they” had no idea about my bankruptcy and thought I was living the high life). If I lost custody of my daughter and “they” took her “they” would be able to file for child support from me…and I will leave it at that! I could not frigen believe it! Me who has designed my entire life around my kids, me who threw out my pain medication the day after I came home from the hospital, me the queen of herbal remedies was being investigated and being asked to go through drug and alcohol screening! My life was like a nightmare that I just could not seem to wake up from! I have to tell you I hit an all time low. I was beyond exhausted! I was still not 100 percent from surgery. The economy was crashing. I was still dealing with all the financial issues! I didn’t have the strength, energy or money for another court battle! I lay in bed for days. I didn’t take any calls and I talked to no one! I had some big decisions to make and I needed to decide what the hell I was going to do.
Once again I decided to fight back! I talked very openly with CPS (who I have to say are great people) and very soon after the case was closed. In fact the case was closed so fast that I never did the drug and alcohol screening. I decided to call them and ask if I could still go through the screening so this “person” could not become an issue in the future! I was taking control of my life and I was not leaving any loose ends this time! They agreed (and yes I passed…just in case you are wondering).
One cancer scare down, two surgeries down, one CPS investigation down….now it was time to get back to focusing on my finances. Like many of you the value of my home was dropping along with my income. For months I would try to get in contact with someone at my bank only to get the runaround. I submitted forms for a loan modification several times and got no results! My bankruptcy attorney was a nightmare and by July of 2009 it became quite clear there were several mistakes made that were now coming back to haunt me! From July 2009 until Feb of 2010 I would spend hours a week writing letters, making phone calls and trying to find someone who could help me untangle the mess he had created! Imagine my shock in Feb of 2010 when I received a letter from my bank that they had increased my mortgage by $600! WHAT! I will spare you all the details but since Feb of 2010 I have fired my attorney and hired a new attorney to fight the bank! It is a battle that is never ending, frustrating and drains the life right out of you! So once again around my birthday I will be in court!
So why am I sharing all of this? Every single day I have clients come to me who are in the same exact situations as I have been in and some that I am still in. I see the sadness in their eyes. I see all the fight gone from them. I feel how alone they feel and it breaks my heart. I need people to know that life is not easy. I need people to know that you can survive whatever you put your mind to. I need people to know that they are not alone and this too shall pass! I need people to know that when everything in your life seems to be spiraling out of control grasp on to one tiny little thing that makes you smile and then fight back!
I have said this in many of my articles and blogs and will continue to say it until the day I die…..your circumstances do not need to affect your experiences! Yes I am psychic. Yes I help people see what is coming up in their lives everyday however that does not exclude me from having my own human experience filled with trials and tribulations. I, like you, have choices to make every day. I can choose to be poor me and defeated or I can choose to acknowledge the many blessings in my life and focus on the many positive things! I have two of the most amazing children in the world. My son will be turning 21 this year. My daughter is now 16 and driving. I am blessed to absolutely LOVE what I do for a living and I am very good at it! I have the best family, friends and clients in the world! I have a boyfriend I adore. I am even on my way for a MUCH needed and well deserved vacation at the beach (how did I pull that off…..a group of us got together and shared the cost )!
Life is not perfect and it is not always fun. Some of us seem to have a lot more challenges then others. I laugh when I hear people gossiping about other people as I know firsthand you never truly know what is going on in someone’s life. It is very easy for people to sit in judgment of others, to think they have all the answers and to foolishly believe that bad things will never happen to them. The truth is you NEVER know what is going on in someone’s life. Maybe if we were all a little kinder to each other the world would be a better place.
Now some of you who have read this will connect with everything I have said. Some of you will realize you are not alone. Hopefully some of you will find inspiration in the story I have shared and tap into your own inner strength. Sadly enough I know there will also be those who will sit in judgment of me and that is fine. I am a never ending work in progress. I have the courage to share, the strength to survive and the confidence to move forward! My life is now 98% perfect and I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone else!
I want to thank all of you who have offered me your love, support and encouragement over the years. I can’t promise you a perfect life but I can promise you that I will always be here to share, support and help you grow! I am healthy and strong, Spiritquest is continuing to grow and expand and I am looking forward to continued success in the future! They say we plan and God laughs so I have decided to let the planning go and instead enjoy each and every moment of my life!