Some get it….some don’t

For years now I have tried to practice what I preach and I have done my best to walk my talk.  No I am not perfect. Yes, I am human just like everyone else so I do have my overwhelming, hopeless bad days.  However, I have always made a conscious choice to share my most private moments as a way to encourage those who may be going through similar issues.  I would be lying if I didn’t say there were times when I was afraid sharing certain stories or personal failures would put me in the uncomfortable position of being judged.  However, at the end of the day I KNOW helping even ONE person is so much more important then worrying about what a judgmental person might think of me.  Sometimes things are just a lot bigger then ourselves!

My motto:  “Some get it, some don’t….some will and some won’t….but being true to yourself is the only way to be, and doing your best to be an inspiration is the key!

Now those of you who follow me know that I am a no-hold-barred kind of person.  Not everyone always likes what I have to say and that is okay.  I realized many many years ago that my job was not to win “personality of the year award” but to help people become the BEST they can be.  Sometimes that requires tough love and telling people what they don’t want to hear. Many times it make me the target for their frustration and anger….but again, that is okay. The most important thing to me is helping people to see how truly wonderful they are and how amazing they can be (even when they can’t see it because of the current challenges they may be facing).

I have talked many many times about how important a support system is when you are going through challenges in your life.  The problem is that sometimes we have expectations of who that support system should consist of instead of allowing the Universe to send us those people who can be the most helpful.  This can be beyond disheartening, as I have learned over and over again!

I think we all have those people in our lives who only call us when they are in drama, they never think to invite us anywhere and they rarely start a conversation with “How are you”.  It is ALWAYS about their challenges/traumas.  Those are NOT people who can be our support system!  It IS sad but it is a fact!  Sometimes we need to go outside our circle!

So what should you look for when choosing your support system:

  • Do not choose people who are ALWAYS in trauma and drama and play the victim role.  Instead pick people who have a positive attitude and truly enjoy life.
  • Do not choose people who feed into your fear and anger, instead choose people who help you to see your choices.

Ex: if you don’t like your job what do you need to do to move on, if you are not happy in your relationship what can you do to change it.  That is a very different energy then….yes your job is horrible but that is life, no one likes their job or yes, all relationships suck – lets go have a pity party).

  • Do not choose people who are going to allow you to stay in your “bad” place but instead encourage you to move forward no matter how difficult it may be at that moment.
  • Do not choose people who will just tell you what you want to hear, instead choose people who love you enough to tell you the truth.

If you decide to be someone’s support system remember:

  • You are not there to win the “personality of the year award”, you are there to help them move forward and that requires the truth.
  • You can see what the person who is in trauma cannot, be honest and tough when need be.
  • There is a HUGE difference between acknowledging someone’s challenge/trauma and enabling them to feel sorry for themselves.
  • The support person is NOT an easy job and more often then not you WILL be the person they take their frustration out on.  Always remember why you are doing this…..because you love them and want to see them be the best possible person they can be and live the happiest and most fulfilling life they can.
  • At the end of the day only the person in the trauma can make the decision to change.  You can not do the work for someone!

My other motto:  “I a not willing to invest more into you then you are willing to invest in yourself!”

If you get that statement…congrats!  It means you truly understand that we can not change people.  We can only love, support and encourage them.  We can only provide them with the tools.  They are the only ones who can make the choice to use them!

Love you all and THANK YOU for always being such a wonderful inspiration to me!

 

2 thoughts on “Some get it….some don’t

  • November 27, 2012 at 9:23 pm
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    Hey Lisa Ann!

    You made me laugh tonight, thinking about my late Aunt. I remember one of our many phone conversations over the years. I had some very serious health issues going on, and she called and asked me how I was doing. I didn’t get a chance to answer her before she started telling me all about how her friend Mary was in an acident and how serious it was, and how she could die, and how and how – – – and on and on and on, and before you know it she was crying to me on the phone! AND since she was my Aunt, I couldn’t even hang up by telling her I really was NOT feeling all that well and I had to go!

    She has passed on now to the next part of her journey, but I remember when I was finally able to STOP owning all her stuff, stop taking her phone calls and I returned them instead when the timing was good for ME, I was able to truly appreciate how wonderful a person she WAS trying to be and I was able to stop measuring her behaviors by my own expectations. How truly freeing!

    And, of course you already know this, when you take that time for yourself, everything else finds the right place in your life.

    I celebrate Christmas, so I wish you a very Blessed and Merry Christmas, and many blessings on you and your family for whatever holiday you choose to honor!

  • November 27, 2012 at 9:25 pm
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    Thank you for sharing! And I also celebrate Christmas…so here is to a wonderful and very Merry Christmas for the both of us!

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