For years now I have tried to practice what I preach and I have done my best to walk my talk. No I am not perfect. Yes, I am human just like everyone else so I do have my overwhelming, hopeless bad days. However, I have always made a conscious choice to share my most private moments as a way to encourage those who may be going through similar issues. I would be lying if I didn’t say there were times when I was afraid sharing certain stories or personal failures would put me in the uncomfortable position of being judged. However, at the end of the day I KNOW helping even ONE person is so much more important then worrying about what a judgmental person might think of me. Sometimes things are just a lot bigger then ourselves!
My motto: “Some get it, some don’t….some will and some won’t….but being true to yourself is the only way to be, and doing your best to be an inspiration is the key!
Now those of you who follow me know that I am a no-hold-barred kind of person. Not everyone always likes what I have to say and that is okay. I realized many many years ago that my job was not to win “personality of the year award” but to help people become the BEST they can be. Sometimes that requires tough love and telling people what they don’t want to hear. Many times it make me the target for their frustration and anger….but again, that is okay. The most important thing to me is helping people to see how truly wonderful they are and how amazing they can be (even when they can’t see it because of the current challenges they may be facing).
I have talked many many times about how important a support system is when you are going through challenges in your life. The problem is that sometimes we have expectations of who that support system should consist of instead of allowing the Universe to send us those people who can be the most helpful. This can be beyond disheartening, as I have learned over and over again!
I think we all have those people in our lives who only call us when they are in drama, they never think to invite us anywhere and they rarely start a conversation with “How are you”. It is ALWAYS about their challenges/traumas. Those are NOT people who can be our support system! It IS sad but it is a fact! Sometimes we need to go outside our circle!
So what should you look for when choosing your support system:
- Do not choose people who are ALWAYS in trauma and drama and play the victim role. Instead pick people who have a positive attitude and truly enjoy life.
- Do not choose people who feed into your fear and anger, instead choose people who help you to see your choices.
Ex: if you don’t like your job what do you need to do to move on, if you are not happy in your relationship what can you do to change it. That is a very different energy then….yes your job is horrible but that is life, no one likes their job or yes, all relationships suck – lets go have a pity party).
- Do not choose people who are going to allow you to stay in your “bad” place but instead encourage you to move forward no matter how difficult it may be at that moment.
- Do not choose people who will just tell you what you want to hear, instead choose people who love you enough to tell you the truth.
If you decide to be someone’s support system remember:
- You are not there to win the “personality of the year award”, you are there to help them move forward and that requires the truth.
- You can see what the person who is in trauma cannot, be honest and tough when need be.
- There is a HUGE difference between acknowledging someone’s challenge/trauma and enabling them to feel sorry for themselves.
- The support person is NOT an easy job and more often then not you WILL be the person they take their frustration out on. Always remember why you are doing this…..because you love them and want to see them be the best possible person they can be and live the happiest and most fulfilling life they can.
- At the end of the day only the person in the trauma can make the decision to change. You can not do the work for someone!
My other motto: “I a not willing to invest more into you then you are willing to invest in yourself!”
If you get that statement…congrats! It means you truly understand that we can not change people. We can only love, support and encourage them. We can only provide them with the tools. They are the only ones who can make the choice to use them!
Love you all and THANK YOU for always being such a wonderful inspiration to me!