Recently I was listening to an interview with Patty Stanger from Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker. Someone asked her what she gets paid for her “Match Making”. She very clearly and confidentially informed the audience that she gets $25,000 and up to find someone their perfect match. She then followed that up with, “I am very good at what I do”, “I am bringing you the absolutely love of your life and that is an amazing value”! BRAVO PATTY! BRAVO!
Throughout my many years as a Psychic Medium, Healer and owner of a Holistic Healing Center there has always been one issue that has perplexed me. Why some people seem to have an issue with Healers charging money for what they do. I have been asked many times, “but you have a gift from God so how can you charge for it?” I am always stunned by this question.
Doctors, lawyers, accountants and therapists are “gifted” within their field. Churches take up collections, charge for weddings, baptisms and religious education. I bet the same people who ask that question have never walked into any of those places and asked them, how they can possible charge for their services. I am not sure where we came up with this idea that being Spiritual means that we should work for free or that if you charge a fee for your services you are somehow not as Spiritual. The reality is that in this world you need money to live, to eat, to keep a roof over your head and to constantly educate yourself (so you have more to offer your clients). The reality is… this is the world we live in.
I also think there is a lot more to this issue. There is also the issue of feeling deserving. I remember when I first got divorced. I was living with my parents and my two children. I was still giving all of my money to support the house my soon to be ex was living in until it was sold. I had nothing. That was also one of the most stressful and difficult periods of my life and in order to cope I began seeing a therapist. I NEVER expected her to see me for free because of my circumstances. I could never even imagine asking her to work for free. I knew the VALUE of her services in my life. Yes, I had to make some tough choices and cut back on a lot of things. But every week I made sure I had the money to go see her. I made my healing a top priority in my life. I made my well-being a top priority in my life. I deserved it.
Being able to understand the value is yet another issue. Throughout the years I have had some very serious struggles with money. I know firsthand how difficult it can be when you don’t have the funds to do what you want. I still laugh when people come to me crying that they can’t afford therapy/healing but yet they have their nails done, hair cut/colored and they are planning vacations. The bottom line is they see the value in having their hair and nails look nice and taking a trip. They however don’t see the value in the services they are seeking to better their lives.
Now I am not saying that I have never done anything for free. Trust me when I tell you that. I too had to learn the hard way. I always remember a client I was seeing many years ago. She led me to believe she was preparing to go through a divorce. She cried hysterically about how broke she was. I saw her privately on a weekly basis and allowed her to take whatever classes she thought would be helpful to her. I told her to just pay me what she could until she had paid the balance off. At the time I was LITERALLY rolling loose change to go food shopping (and I am NOT kidding). Each week she would come in and give me a couple of dollars towards the hundreds she now owed me. One day she came in to make a payment. She was all upset because she had forgotten her cash. After fumbling through her designer handbag she looked at me and said, “I really don’t want to do this but I don’t want to have to come back so I am just going to have to write you a check from my sons hockey fund”. WHAT? I almost fell off my chair! Here I am rolling change to go buy food and she had a “hockey fund”. That was the day I learned a very hard lesson. First, I learned that “I have no money” means a lot of different things to people. When I say I have no money, I have NO money. For someone else that means their savings account has fallen below $20,000. For yet another it means they can only take 4 vacations instead of 5 this year. I also learned that people pay for things they see value in. Sometimes when it comes to investing in them; they just don’t see any value in that!
I think because of my own life struggles (single mom, no child support and on and on), I have always been very aware of money issues. I pride myself on the way I have set up my business and have always made a conscious effort to make sure I am accessible to everyone. I do mini- email questions at a very low cost. I do my own TV and Radio Show educating people for FREE on many different topics and provide them access to those shows through my website. I do not get paid for those things. I do them as my way of giving back. I absolutely believe in giving back but I learned a long time ago that I get to choose HOW I give back.
Now when I have people calling me telling me how they can’t afford me or a therapist or whomever they are seeking help from I hear something very different. What I hear is, “I am not deserving of investing in myself”,”I am unwilling to make the tough choices to do what is necessary to get myself the support I need”,”I am not willing to change”. As a healer it is usually a very big red flag that means the person is not feeling deserving of better things, or they do not see the value of investing in them and they are not ready to make the commitment for change. If you are not willing to invest in yourself how can you expect others to invest in you?
I still get asked that question every now and again, “you have a gift from God so how can you charge for it”? My answer is actually very simple, “when God decides I shouldn’t be charging for my services I am sure he will bless me with lotto until then I will continue to charge for my services”! LOL