Is it time to fire your therapist

Now before you go forwarding this to your therapist PLEASE make sure you actual read the entire blog!  If you are a therapist definitely read the entire blog!

First let me start by saying two things.  One, I am a HUGE advocate of therapy. In fact, I believe that we should all start therapy the minute we come into this world.  Just imagine what a better place the world would be. Two, I have not only referred clients of mine to therapist but I have many therapist who refer their clients to me.  I know, I know….a therapist referring clients to a psychic.  Yes, exactly!  I actually refer to traditional therapy as “talk therapy”.  The problem is in many cases you are only “talking” about what you are aware of. Many times there are things that have happened in your past or your childhood that you may have forgotten about.  Those things may not seem like a huge issue in the present but at the time they occurred they left some trauma, blocks or belief systems that no longer serve you.   Rather than spending years “talking” and trying to figure out what is going on clients come to me.  I can usually (within one session) intuitively pinpoint where in their life those moments occurred. They then take that very important information back to their therapist and the healing begins!  Therapist have amazing tools they can share with you to help you heal AND thrive!

Now you are probably thinking, “okay crazy lady…so why am I firing my therapist”?  Glad you asked!  Here are some instances when you absolutely need to fire your therapist:

  1. When you therapist isn’t actual your therapist but a pity part friend who you talk to instead of a therapist.  You know the one who is always complaining.  You know the one who loves to tell you that you can stay in your misery for years and years (in fact they seem to encourage sadness, misery and stagnation).  That person who doesn’t actually help you at all.  If you are truly honest with yourself you will see that they haven’t even figured out their own life.  How can they possible help you if they can’t even help themselves? You need to fire them!
  2. When your therapist is YOU!  Even if you are a therapist you can not “therapy” yourself! I meet so many people who tell me that they don’t need to go to therapy. They have read all the books and diagnosed themselves.  Funny thing is all that research and self-diagnosis doesn’t seem to have helped as they are still complaining about the same things, they are still in the same place years later and they are still not happy.  You can’t always see things clearly for yourself.  Sometimes you need someone to look at things from an outside perspective.  If you are “this person” it is time for you to give yourself a pink slip and let the experts help you!
  3. When you have been going to an actual therapist for 10, 15, 20 years and you are still discussing the same exact topics as when you first went!  WHAT?  When this happens there are usually one of two reasons.  You either just don’t want to move forward or your therapist has a crush on you and doesn’t want to lose you (just kidding).  All joking aside  if you are seriously going to someone for over 10 years and you are still talking about the same exact thing, please go TRY someone else.  Please!  There are truly amazing wonderful therapist out there.  So find someone else and go have a consult with them.  Once you find a new therapist fire the old one!

Now the absolute most important part of all of this HOW READY, WILLING AND ABLE are you to do the work?   Therapist do not have magic wands. They are not responsible for what you choose to do with the information and tools they give you.  At the end of the day you must make a commitment to yourself.  At the end of the day YOU are the one who decides what you are willing to do to truly heal and thrive.